The Three Musketeers MOVIE REVIEWS

t’s difficult to believe that Resident Evil and Death Race director Paul W.S. Anderson has “always wanted” to make an adaptation of The Three Musketeers. But that’s precisely what he revealed prior to the release of his latest film.

And while Anderson hasn’t added zombies or car chases to 17th Century France, he has certainly made his distinct mark on the material, and not necessarily in a good way.

What we are left with is a complete re-imagining of the classic tale – complete with flying “war machines” and slow motion action sequences – that no doubt has Alexandre Dumas rolling in his grave.

Anderson has managed to assemble a fairly impressive cast for his US$100 million confection, which includes Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson and Luke Evans as the musketeers (Athos, Porthos and Aramis, respectively), Christoph Waltz as the conniving Cardinal Richelieu, Orlando Bloom as the Duke of Buckingham, and Milla Jovovich as Milady De Winter.

At the forefront stands Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief) as D’Artagnan, a cocky young peasant who knows how to control a sword, but not his mouth.

Despite boasting some big names, many of the cast (save a delightfully manipulative Christoph Waltz) teeter delicately on the edge of abysmal, with all the characters being woefully overplayed, even in the context of this wildly over-the-top plot.

The most glaring problem is Lerman’s performance as D’Artagnan. It takes a particular kind of actor to pull off the deceptively difficult archetype of the plucky young upstart, and Lerman doesn’t manage it. He’s able to wield a sword, but comes across as presumptuous and unsympathetic whenever he’s required to open his mouth, which is unfortunately all too often.

Bearing in mind this is a classic French tale, set in France, involving predominately French characters, it’s also a tad disappointing to hear American and British accents at the forefront. It’s a minor detail, but it’s an annoying one.

For what it’s worth, here’s the simplified plot: it’s the 17th Century, and France teeters on the brink of war with England. King Louis XIII (Freddie Fox) is little more than a fashion-obsessed puppet whose strings are pulled by the duplicitous Cardinal in a bid to incite war and seize power. It’s obviously up to the musketeers to stop that happening.

That all sounds true enough to the original story. But throw in some flying “war machines”, the secret vault of Leonardo DaVinci, and Milla Jovovich hiding rappelling devices beneath her corset, and it strays into rather bizarre – and kind of unnecessary – territory.

It’s all unrelentingly daft and squarely aimed at the Assassin’s Creed generation, but then again, it’s also extremely good-natured, and nothing can take away the feeling that this is still a fun tale, even if it is but a vision of the original. The whole thing is well-paced and the action well-choreographed. The enemies are truly evil and our heroes heroic, which is probably what most people will be after going to a movie like this.

But at the same time, some of that life is sucked out by a script that is unpleasantly condescending. It feels as though it’s been written for children, but since some of the more violent content prevents it from being a true family affair, it probably talks down to its audience a little too much. Again, it’s a relatively minor detail and is probably to be expected for a mass-marketed film like this, but it’s yet another minor annoyance to add to the others.

There’s also an unmistakable “end of part one” mood to the final sequence, though making this ending so sequel-ready may turn out to be a little over-optimistic.

– Dane Halpin